Postpartum Rage and Postpartum Depression: A Christian Doula's Encouragement for New Moms

Dear Mama,

If you’ve recently welcomed your baby and expected to feel nothing but joy—but instead, you’ve found yourself overwhelmed by irritation, frustration, or even explosive anger—you are not alone.

As a Christian doula, I have walked beside many new mothers through the beautiful and messy journey of postpartum. One of the hardest, most surprising emotions that can show up during this time is rage. Yes, rage. It’s not talked about nearly enough, and that silence can make you feel ashamed or afraid. But I want to gently tell you the truth:

You are not a bad mom. You are not crazy. And you are not alone.

What Is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage is intense anger or irritability that may come on suddenly or feel like it’s always simmering under the surface. You might find yourself snapping at your partner, crying in frustration when your baby cries, or feeling like everything sets you off. This isn’t what you pictured when you thought about motherhood, is it?

That makes sense—most people talk about the sweetness of newborn cuddles, not the moments when you want to scream into a pillow because you feel so overstimulated, exhausted, or out of control. But this is a real and valid part of some women's postpartum experience, and it deserves attention and compassion—not shame.

Why Am I So Angry?

There are many reasons postpartum rage can show up:

• Hormonal shifts after birth

• Sleep deprivation

• Lack of support or feeling isolated

• Stress about feeding, soothing, or caring for your baby

• Unprocessed birth trauma or past emotional wounds

• The pressure to be “perfect”

Sometimes postpartum rage is a symptom of postpartum depression or anxiety. It’s a signal from your body and mind that something needs care—not a sign that you’ve failed.

What Does God Say About My Anger?

You might be wondering, What does this say about my faith? Does feeling this way mean you’re not trusting God enough?

Sweet friend, the answer is no.

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin.” Anger itself is not a sin. It’s an emotion—one that even Jesus experienced. The Lord is not disappointed in you for feeling this way. He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18), and He sees the weight you’re carrying.

God does not expect you to “hold it all together.” He invites you to bring your burden to Him. There is grace for this moment, even if it doesn’t feel peaceful yet.

What You Can Do

If you’re experiencing moments of rage that feel scary or unmanageable, I want to encourage you to:

• Talk to someone: Whether it’s your OB, midwife, a Christian therapist, or a trusted friend—speaking up is a courageous first step.

• Ask for help: You are not meant to carry this season alone. Let someone hold the baby so you can rest, cry, pray, or simply breathe.

• Pray, even when it’s messy: You don’t need perfect words. Just whisper, “Lord, help me.” He hears every tear, even the angry ones.

• Give yourself permission to heal: You just did something miraculous. Your body and heart are still catching up. Be gentle with yourself.

You Are Still a Good Mother

Postpartum rage doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unfit. It means you’re human—and you’ve been through a life-altering event that has turned your world upside down.

I want you to know this: God is not asking you to be a perfect mom. He is offering to walk with you as you become the mother your baby needs—day by day, in grace and in love.

Let yourself be held, just as you hold your little one. You are deeply loved by your Creator. And you are doing better than you think.

With grace and care,

Christina

Christina Lundy is a certified birth & postpartum doula, certified childbirth educator, doula trainer, and agency owner. She’s located in East Atlanta and serves all of Metro Atlanta. She has 5 kiddos, whom she loves dearly. When she isn’t busy with a client or newer doula, you can find her outside in her garden, painting, or reading. Check out her instagram here.